As a dermatology provider, it’s a privilege to play a role in improving women’s health, wellness, and self-confidence. Every woman and every journey looks different- and yet, there are so many commonalities we all share.
Those similarities have compelled me to use this platform to spread a message I’m usually only able to share in-person with my patients. And I hope, especially as we're approaching Mother's Day, that it will find the women who need it most.
The first time I meet a patient, the conversations can be difficult or emotional. (After all, it isn’t normally that you’re so happy with your skin that you seek me out.) Challenges with our skin are like any other flaw we perceive in our appearances: we focus on them, criticize ourselves for them, convince ourselves that it’s all anyone else sees in us. We let ourselves believe the lie that the small imperfections we spend so much time taking inventory of leave a lasting impression on everyone around us. That they define us, even.
And it isn't just prevalent in women who are struggling with a specific skin care concern. Simple routine skin cancer screenings require us to undress, and in that vulnerable state, I see so many insecurities reveal themselves in my patients- especially those that have nothing to do with our skin. Women apologizing for not shaving, not losing weight, not having a pedicure. Apologizing for not being perfect.
I’ve had girls under the age of 18 schedule appointments with me to discuss anti-aging routines in tears because they feel that their armpits, thighs or even their labia don't look like "what other girls have." Women willing to spend thousands of dollars and endure tremendous amounts of pain to erase the wrinkles showing in the corners of their eyes. And frankly, I'm terrified by what we're perpetuating. All I can think is how damn lucky we’ll all be to live a long life that’s so filled with joy that we’re given laugh lines to remember it by.
I’ve given hugs, held hands, and done my best to be a supportive voice for women wracked with the feeling that they are somehow less-than. And all because they haven’t met a set of impossible standards set for them by a (male-dominated) industry whose primary goal is to create insecurities they can prey on. Benefit financially from.
We run businesses, shape young minds, heal, build, and empower, and yet find ourselves confined to believing that how we look matters most of all. In reality, it's the least interesting thing about you. About all of us.
The bone structure you inherited is nice, but the creative vision that you cultivated on your own is nothing short of badass. Yes, your hair is pretty today, but the kindness you showed that stranger this morning was so much prettier.
So it's time that we change the conversation. That when we really want to uplift the women around us, we stop looking to her appearance to build her up first. So here and on our social media channels this month, we are starting a new conversation and we'd love for you to be a part of it: The Least Interesting Thing About Her.
Join me in taking small steps designed to help us set down the emotional baggage that we carry in our self-image. Learn to separate something as temporary as how we look from one moment to the next from something as permanent as who we are and what really makes us beautiful. For ourselves most of all, but also for the little girls watching who can't wait to be exactly like us. They are watching us closely, and to them, we are beautiful.
xoxo,
Laura